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The Dark Side

June 10, 2014 by Dede Osborn Leave a Comment

Original post: Dec. 15, 2012shapeimage_2

It occurs to me that as 12/21/12 approaches, there really is a cultural transformation playing out.  A big big transformation but also a very subtle one.  It’s been going on for a long, long time but maybe the tipping point is here.

 

When I was working in the Hawaiian Leadership Center on a program integrating Eastern, Indigenous and Western perspectives on leadership, we could pretty much recognize the ‘dark side’ of each of these cultures as cruelty in the East, exclusion in the aloha culture, and using/controlling/absorbing individualism in Western culture.  I would say that all 3 are different versions of cultures based on ‘stuff’ and grounded in separation, ‘lack and limitation.’  We are different, you and I and it is a dangerous world.  [We are born into a world with opportunities to earn and enjoy our own stuff.  I don’t share mine with you.  You make your own.  We compete for scarce stuff and I need guns to protect my stuff and protect me from you.  The planet is just a source of stuff and separate from us and exists for our use.]

 

But there is another worldview arising out of our ancient philosophical roots cloaked with the discoveries of modern science.  This lens on our reality really takes a much different perspective on how we perceive reality and our place in it.  Stuff isn’t our focus.  We are really connected, not separate.  Connected to others, connected to the planet at a spiritual level of shared consciousness.  Our planet, itself, suffers from mis-use and consequently can impact our individual psychology. [Contrast your psychological health if you work in a coal mine or commute in heavy traffic every day compared to working and living closer to nature in harmony.]  Everything I do impacts the whole; the currency is relationship and the driver is love .  It is a world of abundance not lack and we have the ultimate power to rid ourselves of the scar tissue of old thought forms and perceive our reality differently whenever we choose.  If I raise my own level of consciousness and awareness and focus on light rather than the hard-eyed world of the material, the communal level of consciousness grows.  As one Buddhist monk said, “If you want to change the world, stay in your living room and think differently.”  That may ultimately have more power to make the world a better place than we ever could have imagined.  [Think TM research with communities meditating on decreased local crime.]

 

I am blessed to be surrounded by others seeking to stay in this transformed awareness when the daily pull is back down into that dark side.  It is a daily struggle.  When school shootings happen, my first impulse is rage and to take a machine gun to the NRA glass covered headquarters out by Dulles airport.  What a great fantasy!!  My second emotion is so much sadness, and that sadness is like an electrical current that connects us at a very deep level – irrelevant of age, nationality, time or place.  The world’s deep sadness is palpable.  The agony of the world in search of the ecstasy.  Sounds familiar… ever moving toward the light.

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Leadership and Dogs

June 10, 2014 by Dede Osborn Leave a Comment

Original post; Jan. 13, 2013shapeimage_2

Having succumbed to the challenging role as mommy of a new dachshund puppy, it became obvious we could use some re-tooling of our leadership skills so we called for help.  Although I just finished training a 3 day ‘Leadership for New Managers’ workshop last week and have been a leadership trainer for 30 some years, the lessons weren’t really transferring into confidence in this situation to influence peeing and pooping!  One of the articles the trainer shared with us was “The Use of Dominance Theory in The Behavior Modification of Animals” and had a section entitled “How Leadership Differs From Dominance.”  Here I found myself right in the midst of the common discussion where leadership, behavioral psych and positive psychology intersect and carrots become so much more effective than sticks.  Yeahhhhh something I can relate to!  The conclusion is that coercion and force only get you submission in people and in animals and it has a lot of backlash built into it. So true.  Dogs respond better to reward and their ‘job’ is basically trying to please you.  [I think it was the National Geographic channel that had a program about how dogs were the most successful parasitic species of human beings.  They have adapted over the millennia to do whatever we require of them.  They are the only species to look at our right eye to read emotion, etc.]  We should build on that need to please for a well trained dog, even a challenging Doxie!  This is also true for people.  Positive feedback goes a long way.  Force and coercion, and indirectly fear, may get obedience but don’t work for long term motivation and commitment and harmonious relationships.  [However, humans are said to be the only species that will follow dysfunctional leaders, and it happens all the time–witness Congress.]  My own perspective nowadays is less on the behavioral reward system and more on the energy we project.  Animals and people sense fear, weakness, and anxiety regardless of the words you use and posture you have.  Dogs attack and people become bullies if you are weak and scared.  (Why is it we have training to stop bullying but never help the victims who are attracting the bullying – it takes two.)  Even though the Dog Whisperer does use the dominance/submission model, he also emphasizes a ‘calm and assertive energy’ which I find so lacking in organizations and so effective for people as well as dogs.  Our larger problem is that Western culture values dominance and control and some would say a built in propensity for perpetrator/victim dynamics.  Either way, a calm dog owner with a lot of carrots is more how I prefer to influence a little bundle of energy with her own needs to dominate…. I don’t think so, Flossie 🙂

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Hello world

May 6, 2014 by Dede Osborn Leave a Comment

Hello world

June 19, 2013 by Dede Osborn Leave a Comment

Hello world

Hello world

June 28, 2011 by Dede Osborn Leave a Comment

Hello world

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Recent Posts

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Dede Osborn, MA, Dip.CS

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UPDATE!

Coaching Supervision

Coaches, you provide an island of sanity for your clients. Who does that for you?

“Reflecting together to bring the best of ourselves to your coaching practice.”

learn more…

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