Silence

The silence is all enveloping; a stillness that stifles.
No place to hide, to wander, to flee…the fear is deafening.
I cannot hear Thee, Lord-- I am blind and suffocating in my isolation.
I can't swallow, but my tears are sucked inward to moisten the dryness
my heart.
My sight turns dark and the light grows dim. I am lost.
I call out, but the world has moved on;
the old woman locked out of the igloo,
the baby left alone in the night,
the wanderer in the desert,
(the three faces of Diana.)
My heart searches for the light on the faces of those I have loved,
but they have looked away.
Action is the sedative, laughter the salve, touch the benediction.
Tonight it is quiet and depression gnaws at my stomach.
But there is joy in this molten heart. A gratitude behind the pain.
Only in my solitude does the compass turn north.
Ahh, yes, Thou art there. I recognize Thee. Thou hast not forgotten.
Forgive my forgetfulness.

Sitges, Spain
Nov. 18, 99